• Queer Pleasure

Antidepressants, Anal, and No Orgasms: Storytime Saturday

Updated: Sep 29, 2020

Mental Health Medications

First and foremost, I am not a psychiatrist, therapist, social worker, etc. so please do not take this post as a piece of medical advice that I am woefully unqualified to give. But, that aside, I was diagnosed with general anxiety, panic disorder, and depression about two years ago (all of which I had experienced symptoms of since middle school). Six months after I received that diagnosis,  I saw a psychiatrist who recommended I start taking a daily SSRI and later that day, I picked up my Rx. It’s been *roughly* a year and a half since I started taking an SSRI, and during that time, I have learned a lot about how my medication interacts with my body and more specifically, my sex life. I wanted to share my expeirences in case anyone else had a hard time adjusting to sex-related changes after starting a medication and offer up the information I’ve found helpful since I was unable to get advice from doctors or the internet. Hopefully, that’ll change and information will become more accessible but for now, here’s my two cents. 

Popping My Peach

Before I started taking an SSRI, I had a naturally high sex drive and found orgasming not easy exactly, but not too time consuming or complicated. Within the first month of taking my meds, I noticed that my sex drive was down, and that I couldn’t seem to orgasm at all. Eventually those things got better (though not how they had been re-medication) but at the beginning of the COVID-19 crisis, these issues cropped again. On a whim, I ordered a butt plug (Blush Luxe Explore Anal Plug) having never tried anal before, desperate for anything to bring me back my orgasms when I felt like I needed them most. 

I waited a bit before trying it out because frankly, I was nervous as all hell. One desperate day after nearly a month of no orgasms and partial numbness, I said fuck it, and popped the neon pink plug in my ass. At first, it felt weird. Not good, not sexy, but just weird (I’m going to make a butt stuff guide soon, and I’ll link it here if you wanna learn more). I stuck with it though, and whipped out a trust vibrator, my phone, and some earbuds. Sure enough, thirtyish glorious minutes later, I came. HARD. I nearly cried. I was so happy and my butt felt so good. 

That day was a magical discovery for me in terms of pleasure, and I haven’t stopped putting stuff in my butt since. Obviously, every body is different and we are all at different places in our sexploration journeys. I just wanted to tell my story and also let you know that IT IS OKAY IF YOU STRUGGLE TO OR CANNOT ORGASM. You are not broken. You are not weird. And you're sure as hell no less worthy of having fulfilling experiences (whatever those may be to you). Personally, I missed my orgasms so I sought out a way to get them back. But if you are okay without them, that is 100% okay. We are all different and whether you need plugs, vibrators during partnered sex, or prefer to go all natural, you are totally golden.

So, I encourage you to take some time and practice some self love. Whether that’s reading a good book, having a tasty snack, a wild masturbation session, etc. Have a great day y’all.

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I'm A. (she/they), a clueless queer and blogger. I started this blog because I grew up in a small town where sex--especially queer sex--wasn't talked about. I was a determined youngster and managed to scrape the bottom of the internet barrel to find the information I needed (and later, the information I wanted). Now that I've learned a bit about queer pleasure in all of its forms, I wanted to create the resource I wish I'd had; a place where I could read about someone else's experiences and learn about sex from a pleasure-centered perspective. If you have a question about something or want me to cover a certain topic, just shoot me an email! Chances are, I've been there and would love to help or at least offer some moral support, and who knows, maybe others could benefit from a post about it. 


Stay safe, be gay, and abolish the police, 





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