Womanizer Premium (top) & Classic (bottom)

We’re two weeks into 2021, and I feel that with all the bullshit that has happened, it’s a worthwhile time to invest in some pleasure if you’re in a position to do so. I was recently described y my roommate as a “hoarder of sex toys” which, while I think is a gross exaggeration of my dedication to giving y'all accurate toy information, may be somewhat true. As a consequence or prize depending on who you ask, I own an exorbitant number of sex toys. Pleasure air tech, suction toys, pressure wave et all are categorically my favorite toys to use. They bring strong, resounding orgasms with virtually no effort on behalf of the user (seriously you just put them on your clit, adjust the intensity, and sit back).

Now, these toys have pros AND cons and aren’t for everyone (spoiler: nothing is) but today, I’m thrilled to be reviewing and comparing two of the creme de la creme; the Womanizer Classic and Womanizer Premium. As the original creator of "air pleasure", Womanizer has gained popularity for their ever-improving designs and sheer power. Let’s get into the dirty details!


Womanizer Premium Specs:

  • 6.1 inches long, 1.9 inches wide

  • Silicone exterior

  • USB rechargeable and waterproof

  • 12 intensities

  • Two differently-sized, removable heads (silicone)

  • Up to 4 hours run time on a full charge (not on the highest settings)

  • Smart silence and autopilot features (I’ll get into detail on these later in the review)

  • $160.70 with code QUEER15 at The Vibed (code applies site-wide)



Womanizer Classic Specs:

  • 5.8 inches long, 1.3 inches wide

  • Abs plastic and silicone exterior

  • USB rechargeable and waterproof

  • 8 intensities

  • Two differently-sized, removable heads (silicone)

  • Up to 3 hours run time on a full charge (not on the highest settings)

  • $104.17 with code QUEER15 at The Vibed (code applies site-wide)



Stuff That’s The Same:

Overall, these two Womanizer models are pretty similar. They’re both really great and will serve as good clit suction toys. They have the same type of motor and lovely, DEEPLY-stimulating air pulsations. They’re well-made and both have two years warranties that, unless you mistreat them, they should outlast without any issues. They’re both waterproof and rechargeable (which I expect for toys at this price point) and made of all body-safe materials. The range of intensities isn’t as different as I would expect: the first intensity setting for both the Classic and Premium feels the same. The Classic has fewer levels--so there’s a more noticeable difference between one level and the next--and the highest intensity is slightly weaker than the highest setting on the Premium. But trust that when I say slight, I do mean slight: I have a feeling this difference is negligible for most users and IMO, DOES NOT justify the price difference between the two models.


Stuff That’s Different:

If you're trying to decide between the Premium and Classic, the biggest differences are the luxury appearance/feel of the Premium and the Smart Silence feature. The Premium also has a feature called autopilot, but I don't find it useful whatsoever and don’t see it adding much to the user experience; imagine you hand a remote for the premium to someone who doesn't have a clit and say, “k, cool, have fun.” That's autopilot.

The Premium is covered in smooth silicone, making it feel nicer in the hand and on the body. It also looks more expensive with the silicone exterior and metal accents. This is relevant if you’re someone who is more likely to pick up aesthetically pleasing toys, but that isn’t me so I won't dwell on Premium's curb appeal. Smart Silence is, as demonstrated in the video below, some pretty nifty technology that automatically turns off the toy when it isn't touching your body. This is great if you’re someone who may need to turn off a toy in a split second for any number of reasons (hyper-sensitivity after orgasm, nosey roommates, kids et all). It works a bit better than the similar feature the We-Vibe Wand has, and it hasn't really malfunctioned during my testing. Score!



Are There Better Clit Suction Toys On The Market?

My personal favorite clit suction toy is actually the We-Vibe Melt. It shares the same features as the class but is coated in silicone, created a better suction with my anatomy, and is easier to use in conjunction with other toys, bodies etc. The Womanizer Liberty is smaller and less expensive than all of the aforementioned toys but also isn’t as strong with the Womanizer Starlet sitting an additional step down in both price and strength (review/comparison of these coming soon). Again, this all comes down to your needs and budget, and I wouldn’t say any one of these cilt suction toys is objectively better than the others. ROMP makes some more budget-friendly clit suction toys that I’ve reviewed that are a great option for people with tighter budgets.


Overall, the Womanizer Premium and Classic are both excellent toys that I love, and I will continue to recommend to clit owners. Click here to check out the Womanizer Classic, and click here to check out the Womanizer Premium.


The Womanizer Premium & Classic was sent to me by the wonderful people at The Vibed in exchange for my honest review. As per usual, all my opinions and statements are 100% my own. If you’d like to send me a product for review, go to the Work With Me page to get in touch.


  • Queer Pleasure

Has the COVID-19 pandemic and associated lifestyle changes left you feeling nostalgic for the good ‘ole days? Do you miss the chaos and lighthearted glitz of pre-pandemic parties? Do you wish more than anything you could have some drinks and share a dance with your friends? Well, me too but I live in America and the time in which we can safely return to our silly, frvielous festivities is far from here so I’ve settled for a stiff vodka soda and a confetti dildo: throw on your preferred party music and it’s really not as different as you might think.

Now, I’ve gotten a bit too excited thinking about socializing but what we’re really here to discuss is a dildo that’s nearly as fun: the BMS Party Marty Confetti Dildo! Let’s get into the nitty gritty or rather, glittery and colorful!


Specs:

  • 7.5 inches total length

  • 5.5 inches insertable length

  • 1.6 inches max diameter

  • 100% silicone, body-safe, and waterproof

  • Semi-realistic, single density silicone (about 10A firmness or similar to an erect penis)

  • Harnessable base with a suction cup

  • $33.95 at The Vibed (use code QUEER15 for 15% off sitewide)

  • Included bullet (upgrade it to a Blush Nocturnal Bullet IMO: the included one isn’t great)


Design:

The BMS Party Marty is shaped like apenis: not the most detailed one but it definitely looks like a dick (well, if you can imagine a dick being translucent and filled with confetti). The coronal ridge juts out slightly from the shaft of the cock with a little bit of bunched foreskin below, providing subtle g-spot or p-spot stimulation in the medium-soft silicone. The shaft features some subtle vein details: no texture overload but a little extra something to make Marty feel more lifelike than if he had a fully smooth shaft.

The silicone Marty's made of is about a 9 or 10A shore: the single density fimrness closest to that of an erect penis (I would say more specifically, a grower rather than a shower). A dual or triple density silicone would be more realistic with the stiffer interior and squishier “skin exterior” but those dildos can be pricier and aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. For a single density toy, Marty does a damn good job.

Marty’s suction cup is fine; not the best I’ve ever used but will suction to flat surfaces. Just don't expect it to stay perfectly in place during a marathon dildo-riding session . The softish silicone means that this suction cup base COULD fold up in larger o-rings. That being said, it hasn’t given me any issues during strap-on play (my go-to harnesses have a 1.5 inch diameter o-ring). The balls on Marty are nice if you want the added realism but do take away from the potential insertable length: I was every so slightly dismayed that this dildo couldn't reach my a-spot, but alas, Marty is better suited for g-spot stimulation and general hole-filling.

Marty in the grass

Party In Your Pants or Party Pooper?

Marty is stunning and stands out among the collection of dildos I’ve ammased as a sex toy critic. It looks similar to the original Luzarte Jollet which I love, however, these two are very different toys in use. The Jollet started the trend of translucent silicone toys with tidbits of brightly colored puff balls suspended inside. Marty looks different enough from the OG Jollet that I’m not actively angry about copying: it feels--to me--like BMS took some inspiration from the Jollet rather than straight copying it, but I’m certainly open to hearing other points of view on the subject.

In terms of whether or not it’s amazing sensation-wise, Marty does exactly what it's meant to: fills you up decently but not overbearingly and is good for a solid, lifelike fucking. It's good for only about $30. Marty feels like a penis of a size that could occur in nature. This is no giant penis and for lots of people, that’s a good thing!


Ideal Uses & Bottom Line:

Marty is great for folx looking for something realistic in shape with a fun design. Nothing crazy, but it’s also priced very fairly for a pretty, 100% silicone dildo. I wouldn't reccomend this dildo if:

  • You want something really big or something really small

  • You only like hyper-realism in your insertable toys

  • you like really hard or really squishy toys

Otherwise, it’ll probably do a good job fulfilling it’s intended purpose.

Marty is a great, budget-friendly option that’s more aesthetically pleasing than many realistically shaped dildos. Click here to check out Marty at one of my favorite online retailers.


The BMS Party Marty Dildo was sent to me by the wonderful people at The Vibed in exchange for my honest review. As per usual, all my opinions and statements are 100% my own. If you’d like to send me a product for review, go to the Work With Me page to get in touch.

  • Queer Pleasure

Wet For Her 5 Silicone Dildo

Minimalism, capsule wardrobes, and neutral monochromatics have gained traction in the fashion world in recent years for their more sustainable outlooks on style and frankly, ease of use: there’s something about fashion that always feels laborious to me no matter how much fun it may be so I get the appeal of something lower maintenance. Minimalistic tendencies and trends have also popped up in everything from food to housing to skincare but one industry where I haven't seen much in the way of minimalism? Sex toys. There are a couple of companies like Dame trying to market to a Millenial and Gen Z demographic that’s been turned off by previous generations of kitschy, toxic, and flat-out offensive sex toys. That being said, do you know what Dame and other trendy toy companies don’t make?

Dildos! And it’s a damn tragedy! I’d love to try some olive green or pinstripe dicks but alas, I think shows like Broad City and the classic Sex And The City that center vibrators as the mecca of vulva-adjacent pleasure have had a strong impact on societal perception of non-motorized sex toys.

That’s well and fine with me since a lot of folx need or prefer power to get off and penetration is glamorized in other ways--I feel perhaps I should write on this sometime--but what about folx who want something else. Well, as your Bernie-supporting, clog wearing, “Young Adult,” I’m here to introduce you to the minimalist’s dildo: the Wet For Her Dildo Line.


Specs for the Five Medium:

  • 5.1 inches insertable length

  • 1.38 inches max diameter

  • Totally smooth medium firm silicone (bendy but not squishy)

  • Harness compatible base (seriously, it's the most harnessable base ever)

  • Many other sizes (I thought this one would be good for review since it's right in the middle)

  • $45 dollars and often on sale at Peepshow Toys or the Wet for Her website


Design:

If you’re looking for realism or fancy features, this is not the toy for you: the makers know that the sex toy market is well-saturated with glitz and frills and wanted to bring consumers something different. I own handfuls of dual-density, neon-colored, or realistic dildos. Everything from giant dicks to unicorn horns and anything else you can dream up and while those toys are a hell of a lot of fun, they can be a lot. You know what I only have one of? A super simple, harnessable, untextured yet lightly-curved, abstract dildo. Wet For Her did a really excellent job with this design and it’s a great example of exactly what it’s meant to be.

The curve is subtle enough to stroke my g-spot (in a way similar to fingers or the Uberrime Uno) but doesn’t bludegon it with impact. The length and width are filling enough to be satisfying but not too much to be overstimulating **with my anatomy and preferences**. The base is super stable in a harness: probably the best I’ve tried. The silicone moves with your body but is firm enough not to fold during penetration. A perfect middle ground.

This dildo doesn’t have a lot of fun, fancy features but that’s not what it’s meant for. Pick this toy up if you want a good, simple dildo for strap-on or solo sex that will last.


Ideal Users:

I would say that this dildo would work for a lot of people so I think it will be more useful to list people who WON”T like it, and they as as follows:

  • Texture lovers

  • Squishy silicone lovers

  • Those who crave realism

  • Those who need an extra flared base (so if you’re used to big anal toys) or suction cup

For pretty much everyone, I think this toy does exactly what it promises to do and is priced reasonably, making it a solid addition to any collection.


A Note On The Brand:

Wet For Her is a queer female sex toy retailer that caters specifically to the needs of WLW (women loving women). This is great as many sex toy retailers **cough Adam And Eve cough** don't sell products that are all body safe (WFH does) and don't have a great selection of toys for same sex couples. My only issue with this brand is that, as someone who recently came out as non-binary, the female branding can be a touch alienating. Honestly though, it's nothing compared to what most major retailers do in terms of gendered toy categories, marketing, et all so I'm not mad at it.


Bottom Line:

This is a really good, basic dildo that I would recommend to most people looking for something simple that doesn't look like a body part. Click here to buy it and click here to check out the rest of the Wet For Her toys.


The Wet For Her Silicone Dildo in Five Medium was sent to me by the wonderful people at Wet For Her in exchange for my honest review. As per usual, all my opinions and statements are 100% my own. If you’d like to send me a product for review, go to the Work With Me page to get in touch.


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I'm A. (she/they), a clueless queer and blogger. I started this blog because I grew up in a small town where sex--especially queer sex--wasn't talked about. I was a determined youngster and managed to scrape the bottom of the internet barrel to find the information I needed (and later, the information I wanted). Now that I've learned a bit about queer pleasure in all of its forms, I wanted to create the resource I wish I'd had; a place where I could read about someone else's experiences and learn about sex from a pleasure-centered perspective. If you have a question about something or want me to cover a certain topic, just shoot me an email! Chances are, I've been there and would love to help or at least offer some moral support, and who knows, maybe others could benefit from a post about it. 

 

Stay safe, be gay, and abolish the police, 

A.

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